“…when pain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure.”

Jane Austen, Persuasion

Originally, this entry was just a post on my LinkedIn page. I wrote it because I was moved to do so, and it felt so uncomfortably vulnerable that I immediately wanted to take it down. I lost some sleep over it.

But ultimately I decided to leave it up because when I am reading posts by other people I invariably get the most value from those who are willing to share the hard things openly. It lets me feel a connection with them and I find comfort in seeing how many of us go through the same hard experiences.

Maybe you can get value from mine.

A year ago I had the worst professional experience of my life.

I didn’t know how or if I would recover.
I didn’t want to talk about it because it was so wrong and so humiliating.

I didn’t know if word got around.
I didn’t know what was left of my shattered network.
I didn’t know if I could get past my insecurity and do the things I was passionate about again.

I did.

I had just received my coach certification and so I did tons of pro bono coaching and grant writing and poured my heart and talent into my community.

I reached out to coach friends and they were (no surprise) the best people ever.
I took care of myself, and exercised patience like it was boot camp training.

And (no surprise) everything I gave is coming back to me.

Then this week LinkedIn was kind enough to show me that one of the people involved in my terrible experience was checking out my profile, and all those doubts came rushing back. Why’s he creeping on me? What’s that mean?

But I took a breath and this time I was ready.

And I thought, “LET HIM LOOK!!”

I’m doing what I love finally and making my own decisions … and at this point I can appreciate him for the role he played, for better or worse, in helping me accomplish that.

It has taken me a long time to be vulnerable enough to share a post like this, but it was time. My clients are vulnerable with me, and they show up ready to explore their hopes and experiences. I have to show up, too.

Thank you, and I challenge you to just go on and let them look!